so enough about my husband.
you were supposed to be more like that jewboy from indiana
in that meryl streep movie
sofie's choice evan says
eating grapes.
purple grapes
he is a color
sNAp oUt of IT jiMBO this isn't only about you geTTing oFF do you understand
she means like crazy cat get it togetha man.
like...
Like NOW ."Veda shouts
like go fuck yourselves
it was sophie's choice Veda says fixing us a drink .Smiling her hair done
"very Julian Moore" Damien says licking my ear
"must be nice jim being a child man
having no responsibilities
doing saying whatever you want
i'm sure all the guys go for it respect it even" Veda harps on fone.
yeah bitch it's groooovy
well that's how it was.
and some days.
it sorta seeps back.
oh yeah dr denise...the dream i had..that veda dream.
with the light brown hair
a stimulant MDMA based hallucinagenic that could presumably make a straight man fuck another man.
1973
Oak Hill Apts.
my mom and step dad used to go out to these like ice storm swingers parties.all EST types ..and that crap.my mom was very good looking,awesomely ...people dropped things for no reason when she was walked by.my step dad had the generic good looks of a Deoderant soap ad.It was the beginning of deodorant soap 1973.and brighter tasting cereal.
the strange party was on the 2oth floor or something and the kids that came along .we all got to kn ow each other.most of the parents were divorced .it was visiting day.weekends .every other weekend.
they didn't want the kids around . But they must have .Because it was no problem except for these events that they simply hired us baby sitters.there were around 7 of us strag alongs .we hung around in the lobbies of fancy apartments and huge mansions in the middle of nowhere.Mainly it was apartments.
veda wore her hair in a tight bun .over the bun she sometimes wore a coif fer
Her visage was strict
she was aware of appearances.
and did not want to give others the false impression that she was approachable.
.
Monday, January 23, 2012
it was all about a specific new light and a specific new lense.magnets.holmium.
and moreso about
cherry pop
chocolate strawberry liquid drinks
and most of all
pizza
priceless.
pay less.
i learned the ads plan to go back to LA and resume voice over work.
i kept missing class.
things got a little too Voice over live action.funny how everything blend said daien
he puts on his own make up.
sometimes for theatre work
a new play .
in one of the pools
somewhere or other.its the latest thing
private plays
very serious shit these plays
no plays for you james
and no more holmium 57
we have another play going
PENN VALLEY
is going title
veada and evan run the country out of the oak hill apartments.
no more white house
that guy from queer eye is doing their apartment as we speak.drawing up plans.
this all takes place 3 years from now but the play lover
is the thing
so we're doing our apartment in safron orange and yellow
"don't I have a say"
i say
"jim you don't even brush your teeth/"
and he's gone.
dr .i read in a magazine i mulched and mumbled.that being my game face these days .trying to appear as mild ...and ?friendly as humanly possible.I wish i had servants and shit to do all this talking talking ..asking asking shit...if i see people i dont want it to be askin them to get me a soda or testosterone.whic D thinks might help me get angrier
damien shows me his scripts when he's not talking about black lung and bad sex.during the day he 's begun twistin around hal's office and he's stopped for a few days so THE OLD PUFF can catch his breath
and regain his sensabilities.
already he's cancelled his appointment with a dr who specializes in "these kind of things"Birdie herself found the Dr. the one we told her too.
Birdie has been with us since her grandma gave birth to Tess like 60 some years ago.
hmmm
damien gets all theatrical wearing ascot s and scarves.
lately he's into safron orange
for the cult
he wants
things to be
that one the up and up
"shall i wear a Robe James?when I congregate the masses?
perhaps that seamstress who did the judge's robe for that Lweinsky business.
by them not knowing .
that i didnt know
they fucked up
probably for ever
whatever this tv actor
was supposed to be USED
for
cuz a.
if they're NOT USING HIM
and he's DOING this cuz he WANTS TO
funny stimulating or not
WHO IS THIS GUY
and WHAT DOES HE WANT!
u dont fuck around with people like that
there will be laws!
and NOT about some freak who cares that anyone knows he cheats?
cheats?
is that what it is?
or am i supposed to come up with a word for that too
king EVANveda
meet Perry Smith
by ProXY
they switch me around as they like.they morph me.but i have to think of a better word than morph
work for the very peeps that PROXED me
the MEERCATS!
PROXY they like
they even gave me like 26 doLLLARS for it AND a god damn hotel.
meercat.morphing
no more KID stuff
they made me smarter too
For Damien king of the asshols.
i'm supposedly in love with this guy
i like saw him on television
but they bring him in
in ways beyond my understanding
he like .goes into my .nervous sytem .like literally .and he's the only one thye tried who makes me like go wild inside.
for all i know it's some 99 year old housewife
who cares I sorta
say
but noooooo
It's damien .
all the way
prob is
he's married
..
hmm and supposedly SUPPPPOSEDLY for REAL
according to them..
i waSNT SUPPOSED TO say anything
seriously
i mean this shit is for real
i feaqr typing it i swear and must pause to see if the;ll like morph me .
or whats a better word
as i am also the fuckin AD for these psychos
hmmm
is this when the rubber meets the wire?
no no no.i don't want it to go away EVER
more
more and double more
i dont get any of this.
i'm scared by it mainly
andf they don't let up on the smoking.
and all sorts of stuff.that was.
uh
terrifyling beyond comprehension.
u run sheerly on adrenalin
which seems to have run dry
and i don't quite know what to do/
now that the adrenalin the fear is gone
and they want me to be nice?
and friendly
and courteeus in lones
I can't
I see how the vets coming back from away are on tv
they die in like sppeding accidents.and do anything to gEDt that feAr and waR rior feeling on .
it's not addiction you find
it's basic instict
it's the only hope for mankind.
people this
uncoureus.
if something goes wrong
we will need them
so spare me and the rest of the PSYCHOS out there.
cuz
cavemen
is what youre gonna need
bad date with darren
first off
his name
a worse name i can not think of
Beautiful but all I could think of was some element .some ProXY -meir Cat situation turning him into a car seat.leatherette
they can do that at Prox
a weapon
you'd better be good Darren said
I paid 400$ and I heard u can't fuck from shit."
Sunday, January 22, 2012
i am parceled out tiny bits of cash.
i am deamed too fuckin cwazy or something to manage /
no more thatn23 dollars
i might i dony know
?eat or something
i need to smoke when i am hungry.
it curbs the appetite.
i hear in bosnia they seel 12 year old to the porn industry in van nuys
and bernie has his hands
all up it
I chew tobacco it's cheaper.
sooooo
here i is another morning
and 2 thin dimes .
tes at this posh place
..its the wells fargo wagon that run me into the ground
i had lost my picture ID
see
and these GennnnnnTlemen won't give me my Money
banks
can do this friends
i wonder what else they can do to TIE THINGS up
there is something peculiar about this ID bizness
wells fargo
can easily look up my photo .
my face
which for some odd reason is all we
identify people with
and for me
that was like 5 faces and two
arrests ago//this means jack
the bank is foine i wake up hung over .ugly .cigareets dunked in water cups all that dull jonny depp stuff
Saturday, January 21, 2012
i was thinkin proverbs when i walked in to the casino
than thought
nonono
the problem with this fuckin b bbbboring world iz iz iz proverb and sayings
like who gives a fuk if u eat lamb or vegitables
and punishe dfor that shit like made to sit at a table for what 2 hours
thank godness for this adderal calms me down but not like coke which calms me and makes me undo my wicked way of thinking.like say want to shoot the world down
even on the internet can cause nothing
but
trouble
with a capiTal
social experiments often backfire.i remember reading brave new world ...i remembr this beta type guy wanna be...than mark damon jdsalingertype .gets chased around by film crew in helicoptor cuz he like ..in dont know did something wrong.thats how i feel about actors .i think.they re in the same bind.
and their not even betas
theyre alphas/
so they shine
but they shine out.if they just make films that mean nothing to them instictively.
in this reguard they are dangerous
and it is actors WE watch the most
Like Hawks
not
like
doves
loathsome
or otherwise
git it?
except at the playhousemadhouse
JAIL HOUSE POOL HOUSE
therewe don''''t
spend 3 hours
onthe fone cussing secrtiaRIAT
2GET3FTCIRCUMFERENCE JELLYfish blue toilet
seat
s .her life was like
a toilet seat pie chart
this is all about like throwing the first pages away from newspaper u intentionally pic up.like not touching the corners than not washing your hands cuz tis about DNA AND poison.thats all.and i make poison myself.did u kn ow u can exCRENCHiate bella donna from bays teethtablets and vaporrub.i am back from the future and u got noooooo idea what they all think of next
IN THE NEXTA few days i will meet taylor henry/and not a moment too soon
he might be in las vegas.philly or Van nuys.
he'll be my partner .
partner in what i don't know
but he won't drug me or put loooooootion and shit on me blood stream
it goes in like in
SeconDs
it's
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwsome
if
hmmmmmm
used in da right hands
they don't hire left handed peeps in the Prox
the pockS
no left handers
and lotion administRation
are tricky bizness inDEEEEEEd
played rugby in some asian country down below the equator.
solid muscle
suns and sons of viedah macabee
huddled away under carpets coming to the 1973 wintergames
they get into the floor boards
these Mca Bee
fuji plasma DMT diffuser 23,000,))*
so this is what we're up against
UP AGAINST is right
up against it get down on it everywhich way but lose
a colin hanks type is what the reverend asked for specifically
cant we just watch the fuckin movie
lenses .
you KNOW about the lenses
u mean the lenses one
gets on their eyes
that split thier lenses into..
no.we meant the LEN for the caterering at DeVon horse shoe
well Lance is sick .seems he had too much brazilian bisness man for lunch
Mikey likes it
and ifg he doesnt we'll just break his finger
so there's this rugby player Damien
he's with PROXY
there's a minister their
they call the CEOs monitors
reverends preachers
all very Rising Sun Moon
they have a satellite
while we're here sobbing about monicamoormon they're mining moondogs
did we say fingers i thought u said
OH brother .another fUckin REAM
and the light goes on
by itself
there are like green electric controls so water and lights go on and off
at will
by their own
it's efficient if nothing else though..kinda logans run
bad mood these days like in in the ARMIIII
i have to like IRON SHHHHIRTS these daysand have to buy specific arMani shhhhhhhooooooz
little faggity thinks that are square .and look like FRANKKKKKKKken stein shoes
and go to a gym.
insane requests for a 43 year old man
37 .
holmium 37
or maybe just Holmes
